


Stupid Is The New Sexy

by AristoMuse



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! - All Media Types, Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
Genre: A Duel Monsters himbo, Comedy, Established Relationship, Everyone in this show is stupid, F/M, Flirting, GET IT, GX shenanigans, Humor, Jaden is a himbo, Jaden is thiccheaded, Oblivious Jaden, One Shot, Reader is so Done but she loves him, Romance, dumb jokes, im so funny, set in season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-12
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21765091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AristoMuse/pseuds/AristoMuse
Summary: Every time Jaden opens his mouth and says something stupid, you never know whether to hit him or kiss him. Which is often.
Relationships: Yuuki Juudai | Jaden Yuki/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 66





	Stupid Is The New Sexy

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by that one tumblr post where they talk about how dumb boys are their kink, and whenever their boyfriend says something stupid, they have to resist the urge to take off their clothes right then and there. I tried finding it as a reference but I couldn't -sobs-, so if anyone has a saved screenshot, pls share
> 
> Also I'm using the english dub for this because THAT is a treasure trove of bad jokes that is underappreciated smh

"And that's game!" Jaden shouted with a grin and his signature two finger salute, just as his Elemental Hero Flame Wingman destroyed the opposing Axe Raider and their remaining life points.

The Axe Raider shattered into a million virtual pieces and exploded outward with a loud bang. Their hair and clothes fluttered from the explosion, and the arena was filled with the smoke from Flame Wingman's attack.

"Nooo!" His opponent cried out, collapsing on his hands and knees. His cards fell out of his hands and scattered all over the stadium floor. "How could this happen?! This shouldn't be possible!"

Resisting the urge to roll your eyes at the unnecessarily dramatic meltdown, you slid lower in your seat and groaned. "Why am I here..." you muttered to yourself.

"To support our friend! You know, your boyfriend?!" Syrus exclaimed from the seat next to you without moving his eyes away from the arena. He wasn't even seated; he was actually standing up with his fists clenched from anticipation. "Gosh, it's like you're never excited about any of the duels!"

"That's because I'm not?" you replied with a 'duh' voice. "I mean, the technology is still really cool, and Jaden is really good at it, but..." You groaned and leaned your head back to stare dully at the curved dome ceiling. "Why does everything have to be about Duel Monsters?"

Syrus paused and gave you a weird look. "You're at _Duel Academy_."

"...Fair point."

"Hey!" Jaden ran up the stairs to you and Syrus, wearing a big grin. "Didja see that?! I totally wiped the floor with that guy!"

You indulged your overly excited boyfriend with a smile. "I did. You were great, Jaden."

His expression brightened even more, if that was somehow possible, and he rubbed the back of his head. "Of course! I'm the best duelist here, after all!" He said boastfully. Suddenly, his stomach let out a loud growl, and he held it with a sheepish laugh. "Guess that duel took more out of me than I thought! Let's grab something to eat!"

Agreeing, you began to follow him and Syrus when someone called your name. "Are you seriously going to eat at the Slacker's hall when you're an Obelisk?"

You turned around and saw Chazz walk up to you with a scowl. You lifted a brow. "You realize you're in Slifer too now, right?" You pointed out.

Fuming, he yelled, "that's exactly my point! If it were up to me, I'd be having a 5 star course in the Obelisk dining hall! You're still there since you're a girl and all, so why not choose the better food?"

He made a good point, honestly. Despite your boyfriend being one of the best duelists on the island, he was still in the Slifer dorm, which was horribly underfunded and poorly maintained by the school. Maybe you should write a complaint for that, but then again, you didn't want to end up in a duel to make that happen.

Being made to duel to get anything done around here was like torture; which made everyone else on this island a masochist.

Jaden pouted and latched onto your waist with both his arms. His duel disk dug uncomfortably into your left boob. "Aww, you're not gonna eat with us? We even got pizza today!"

You hummed, interested. Pizza...and Jaden. Without all the snooty Obelisks in your face about dating a 'Slifer Slacker.'

Your mind was made up.

"Nah Chazz, I'll eat at Slifer. Besides, we have that assignment for Professor Crowler due in a few days and Jaden here-" You tapped your boyfriend's fluffy red and brown hair. "-Needs all the help he can get."

Jaden grinned without a hint of shame or embarrassment. "You know it! If you weren't helping me, I probably wouldn't even do it since it's not a duel!"

You sighed fondly. "Exactly."

Syrus looked worried. "Jaden, we have to get our assignments done! It's like 50% of our grade! If we don't do it, we could get kicked out and then we'd have to apply for Duel Community College!"

"The what," you said flatly.

Jaden waved his concerns away with a flippant hand. "Oh please. I doubt it's that important, but even if it is..." He pulled you closer and rubbed his head against yours like a purring kitten. "I've got this lucky charm to help me!"

You grunted when his duel disk almost hit you in the face. "Jay, c'mon," you weakly complained. "We were going to eat, right?"

He snapped up. "Oh yeah!" Taking your hand and Syrus's, he began to pull you with him down the road. "Catch you later, Chazz!"

"In your dreams, Slifer Slacker!" Was the rich boy's reply.

The three of you arrived at the Slifer's homely dorm in no time at all, mostly due to Jaden's insistence in running the entire way. The building had always reminded you of a cheap Japanese apartment building; the kind that only did one room apartments for bachelors with either tatami mats or cheap wooden flooring. Hell, even the kitchen looked like they belonged in an old apartment, with only two burners and a small sink.

You were always more comfortable here than at the ridiculously opulent Obelisk dorms, what with its marble flooring, marble pillars, and marble fountains. 

Seto Kaiba was one biased asshole, you thought to yourself.

Settling down in the tiny meal hall, Syrus having left to get a head start on studying, Jaden let out an appreciative noise when he smelled his food; three slices of pizza, as well as rice, grilled anchovies, miso soup, and radish slices. "Aw yeah!" He drooled. "I'm starving!"

Before he began eating, however, he waited for you to choose your food like an impatient puppy. Taking a slice of pizza as well as making yourself a milkshake, you sat across from him and smiled. "It's okay, Jay," you reassured. "You didn't have to wait for me."

"But I wanna!" He huffed. "I don't get to eat with you often."

You softened. "Thanks, babe." 

You weren't particularly passionate about dueling, nor did you understand why everyone here was so obsessed with it, but you were grateful to be here, if only because you met Jaden and everyone else. They were all a bunch of weirdos, but they were _your_ weirdos. Especially the one in front of you.

Picking up your slice, you munched without hurry.

Jaden noticed while in the midst of devouring his third slice already, and he quickly swallowed before taking your hands in his. Blushing at the touch, you let your slice fall back onto the plate and wrapped your fingers with his. "Jaden?" you called out curiously. "Everything okay?"

He stared intensely at your hands with a gaze that you'd only seen him wear while dueling, which meant he was completely focused. "Your hands..." he began.

"My hands..?" You repeated, confused.

"They're so small!" He blurted out with a tone of awe. "I mean, I've known this for a while, but now that I see them holding a slice of pizza, it's like...they're so tiny by comparison! Like, like..." He lit up. "Like Kuriboh paws!"

...

Clenching your eyes shut, you bit your lip in an attempt to stop yourself from breaking down. In embarrassment or amusement, you couldn't really tell.

Gods damn it.

"...Thank you?" You wheezed out, face scrunched up from trying not to laugh.

"How do you even hold cards?" Jaden pondered, his hands rubbing yours. Despite his impulsive grab, he was very gentle with you, like always. "Is this why you don't duel that often?"

"Pfft!" You almost broke then, but you held it in. Barely. "N-No, I uh...It's just not as interesting to me as it is for you, Jay. I'd much rather watch and cheer you on." Slipping your hands away from his, you held them up. "Look, they're not really that small. They're pretty proportionate to the rest of me, don't you think?"

He pouted when his hands were empty, but it turned into a grin. "Yeah, small and adorable!"

Your heart skipped a beat, and you couldn't help but return his grin with one of yours. "Aww, you're so sweet to me, Jay," you cooed. "You're such a cutie."

"Pshh!" He pulled a face, clearly disagreeing with you. "I'm not cute! I'm handsome and manly!" He even held up his arms as an example, showing off lean limbs. "Look at these muscles! You don't get muscles like these unless you duel as well as I do!"

You nodded indulgently, but honestly, you'd always think of him as a cute hyperactive fluffball. _Your_ cute hyperactive fluffball.

Finishing up your slice, you sipped your milkshake and waited for your boyfriend to finish his food.

"What kinda milkshake is that?" Jaden asked.

"Strawberry," you mumbled around your straw.

He hummed with a thoughtful frown. "Milkshakes are just blended stuff, right?...What if I made a milkshake, but with tomato...and cheese?"

The straw fell from your lips and you slowly looked up at him, already dreading what he would say next.

Please, don't...

He looked down at the tiny piece of pizza he had left, and held it up to his eyes. "Is pizza a smoothie on toast?" he asked seriously.

For a whole minute, you said nothing.

Lifting your hands to cover your face, you let out a high pitched whine into your palms.

"Oh my gods..." you mumbled.

That was the single most dumbest thing you'd ever heard from his mouth, and you had heard _quite a lot_ since you met him. Less since you started dating him, but now it seemed his natural brain was making a comeback.

"What?" Jaden tilted his head at your reaction, completely clueless. "What's up?"

"N-Nothing...Nothing a-at all..." you squeaked, shoulders trembling from the force of your laughter. Moving your hands from your red face, you gave him the most baffled smile. "I love you, Jay."

Blushing, Jaden gave you a smile that rivaled the sun's brightness. You were pretty sure it was its own heat source as well, since you felt so warm and content with it directed at you. "Love ya too!"

* * *

Cuddling the cutest, chubbiest, most chill cat in the world, you watched, sat in Jaden's computer chair, as Syrus practice his combos at his desk. The room wasn't big, hosting three compact desks, a small kitchen, a basic bathroom, and a three bed bunk, but trying to fit three people and a cat in it made it feel absolutely cramped.

Pharaoh purred as loudly as a jet engine on your lap. "Meoww..."

"Aww..." you cooed, giving the chonk some scritches on his head and on his fat little tummy. "You're so cute, Pharaoh...You're the only reason why I come here."

"Wow, harsh," Jaden commented, fresh out of the shower. "I thought it was because you love me and want to spend time with _me_."

Giving him a look over your shoulder, eyeing the water that dripped from his hair and down his neck tantalizingly, you hummed and turned back to the cat that began to demand your attention. "Eh, you're a side benefit," you commented casually, heart melting when Pharaoh showed you his toe beans. "Aww!"

Pouting like a petulant child, Jaden walked up to where you were sat, picked up Pharaoh, deposited him outside, and then placed his head in your lap with imploring eyes.

Amused, you huffed and petted his head like you did Pharaoh, not minding the still damp strands. "Aww, does Jaden need his pets?" you teased. "Do you need attention?"

He nodded vigorously. "Yup! It's my prize for winning today's duel."

"Jaden, you dueled him because he got the eggwich today instead of you."

"So? I don't need a reason to duel!"

Rolling your eyes, you patted his head once more before picking up your notebook. "All right, I think it's time we start on that assignment."

"Good luck with that," Syrus muttered from his desk. "I only finished it a few minutes ago and I'm still not sure if it'll get a passing grade." With a loud groan, he hid his face in his arms. "What am I gonna do? I don't wanna fail out of Duel Academy..." Suddenly, his stomach growled. 

Sympathetic, you reached over Jaden's head with your other hand and patted the smaller boy on the back. "Don't worry, Syrus, at least you're done. May as well get dinner to reward yourself."

"That's true..." He slowly sat up. "I guess I'll go get some food at the dining hall."

"Don't eat too much," you advised.

Waving, he left the dorm, leaving you and Jaden alone. Jaden refused to move from your lap; in fact, he started nuzzling the top of your thighs.

"So soft..." he remarked with a dreamy sigh.

You blushed, finding him way too close to a certain part of your anatomy. Was he suggesting something? He barely even knew what kissing was; there was no way he knew what he was doing. "J-Jaden..."

"Like a pillow...Like a meat pillow!" He decided with a conclusive nod.

Immediately, any excitement you felt was gone. "Thanks..." you mumbled, dead inside. "That's...so nice of you to say."

He hummed happily, oblivious.

Sighing, you nudged him off your lap and gestured to your notebooks. "C'mon, we gotta work on our assignment. It's on the efficiency of mixing Trap and Spell cards together, and you know Spell cards are my weakness."

Jaden straddled Syrus's chair and grumbled. "Do we have to?"

"Jaden, please!" You said, frustrated. "I know you don't like to do homework; hell, I don't either! But like Syrus said earlier, this assignment is a huge part of our grade, and there's no way I'm letting you fail just because you didn't 'feel like doing it'! I'm not going to let my boyfriend fail because he's lazy when I know he's got way more brains in that big puffy hair of his than he lets on! You can't fool me, okay? I'm your girlfriend; I'm here to support you and make sure you'll succeed in this, because one of us should when it comes to this card game!"

You panted when you finished ranting, and Jaden gazed at you with wide eyes, frozen in his chair.

"Please, Jaden?" You asked softly.

He blinked, and then rubbed the back of his head. "Uh...I...didn't really listen to what you said," he confessed.

You felt your heart drop.

"I know you're really angry at me for some reason, but I haven't been listening because I couldn't stop staring at you and thinking how cute you are when you're mad," he finished sheepishly.

You slumped but you're unable to fight back a smile. Even when he was being an idiot, he was still so sweet to you. Gods, it was a wonder how your blood pressure hasn't killed you yet with his shenanigans, but...you guessed it was worth it.

You held up the book and tapped it against his head. "Study. Now."

Jaden pouted but reluctantly spun himself so he'd face the desk, and you finally felt like you were getting through to him.

The next hour and a half was spent working on your assignments, and you didn't let him take a break until he was done and his work held no mistakes.

With a loud groan, Jaden threw himself onto his bunk bed and crossed his arms beneath his head. "Man, that was such a drag!" He whined. "School work is always so boring! I wish I could've had a sweet duel instead..."

"I'm proud of you for finishing your work," you complimented him. "Good work, Jaden."

It definitely surprised you that he was able to complete it in less than two hours. Maybe you were wrong and Jaden was actually really smart, so long as he applied himself. Maybe you should reward him some more.

Perking up, Jaden gave you an easygoing grin. "Gotta get my game on, you know! Man, I just wish there were more hours in the day, like 12 hours for sleeping and another 12 for dueling or something..."

...

You couldn't help it anymore.

"Oh my gods you're so stupid," you breathed out. Getting up from your chair, you threw yourself on top of him on the bed. "I love you," you declared loudly.

Jaden blinked up at you. "Huh? Uhhhh, love you too?" he responded, confused. "What are you doing?"

You placed a finger on top of his lips. "Shh...You're not done learning yet, Jaden. I have another lesson to impart on you."

He immediately looked put out. "More work?" he whined. "It's not math, right? You already tried to teach me the period tablet."

Oh my gods, he was so dumb. You never knew it was possible to be this dumb about things that weren't Duel Monsters. Jaden was such a selective learner, it was impossible to think of him as anything but thickheaded.

Good thing it was his dumb ass that attracted you in the first place.

"You'll like this work," you murmured seductively, leaning down to kiss him and feeling him reciprocate eagerly.

**Author's Note:**

> Jaden is such a himbo, I love him


End file.
